And my God will supply all
your needs, according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:17
Change can feel harsh and grating |
At first glance you may
think I missed a major typo in the title of this blog, but I assure you I
didn’t. Once again, the course of my life has shifted, from the mother of three
growing boys, to the mother of three grown men. And I have to tell you, I’m not
a big fan of change.
Webster’s defines coarse as harsh,
grating. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this course
correction. And my emotions are rubbed raw from dealing with it.
Oh, I knew this change was
coming. It was as inevitable as breathing. I knew our boys were going to grow up
and leave home. Truthfully, we’ve spent their whole lives teaching them what
they’ll need to know to leave home and become independent. And, after our
oldest chose the Marine Corps straight out of high school, I thought letting
the others leave would be easy. Not so much.
Jimmy, John & Kirk |
There are good things about
this time. We’re proud of the men our boys have become. We love the women in
their lives right now, and we’re excited by the future God has planned for them.
But in the midst of all that is the feeling we’ve forgotten something—left some
vital piece of information out of their education. Even as I rejoice in their
independence, I recoil at the things they’ll have to face without us.
Of course, all this stems
from something else I deal with on a regular basis, control. For those of you
who know me, this bit of information won’t come as a surprise. Intellectually I
know I’ve never really been in control of our kids’ lives. As I wrestle with this new
time of life, I realize my fears for them are just another attempt at control. I’d equipped . . . I’d given . . . I’d
prevented.
In reality, we haven't been the ones to equip, give or prevent. God
has. Oh, He’d allowed us to help on occasion, but He’d been the one who’d
orchestrated events to prepare our sons for life. It’s a good thing, too. I
have no idea where our sons’ lives are headed. I could make some guesses, but
so far my track record hasn’t good. But God’s track record is perfect.